... Right now, everyone is afraid, and they're not sure how to process it. But... I think people are starting to realize that they can't just latch on what they personally think is "strange" and make judgments off of that.
I honestly hope that they all realize that. Because I'm definitely not one of those monsters. I'll insist it for as long as I have to, but if they don't believe me, then I don't know what to do. There's no evidence I could possibly present to prove anything one way or another, you know?
And if we somehow aren't together in regards to the votes, I just- [ Her gaze lowers slightly. ] It's possible that I might die. I'm really scared of dying. . .
But even so... I'll fight with everything I have to make that true.
Because... you aren't doing anything wrong, Inaba-san. No matter what you think--no matter what you're telling yourself, you haven't done anything wrong.
You can feel terrible about that. Of course you do.
[It's such a hard situation--how could he ever blame her for that?
But...]
But you aren't any worse than any of us here, Inaba-san.
We all voted... not just you. Some of us probably even voted for people we like, all because we had no other choice. I'm not saying it was right... just that you're not alone in this.
[ She's honestly quiet for quite some time, as if contemplative. Eventually she answers, her voice quiet. ]
. . . maybe.
Even if you say that, it just-- [ her hand's on the knob, tightening against it a little ] I really, honestly feel alone. Like, even if there's people around me, I'm still pushing you all away. Like right now. I talked to someone about it, and I know that I probably have to be the one to change in the end, but people tell me that I'm okay the way I am. Yet... I'm jealous of how easy it is for others to bond, to have fun, to have sleepovers before someone's about to get murdered? Like how can you guys do that while I just can't.
It's just impossible for me.
Edited (oops there was a sentence that wasn't supposed to be there) 2018-12-07 20:55 (UTC)
... It's not easy, Inaba-san. To change yourself, to become someone you don't feel like you can be.
[Minato's quiet for a long moment...and then he sighs.]
For a really long time... I also just pushed people away. Nobody...ever really stayed, you know? So instead of being hurt, it seemed easier to just keep people at a distance.
...Some people showed me that it was okay to change...and that they would be there for me every step of the way while I did, to catch me if I fell in any way.
[...]
I want to be that for you, too, Inaba-san. If... you'll allow me to be. I want...to stay by your side, and help you if you fall.
[ She says it so flippantly with a rather dismissive hand gesture. ]
I'd never expect to hear any love confessions anyway. [ Inaba's smiling, but it's bitter. ] Anyway, let's just say it's not a confession of any sort and leave it at that. Unless you're really into 'confessions', Arisato? Hm? Have you made this sort of confession to anybody else lately?
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It's... it doesn't get us anywhere.
[So... surely...!!]
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And if we somehow aren't together in regards to the votes, I just- [ Her gaze lowers slightly. ] It's possible that I might die. I'm really scared of dying. . .
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You're not going to die.
Inaba-san... you really deserve to live. So... so you're not going to die.
Okay?
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[ She hugs herself just a little bit, shivering just a little. ]
And I'm really not a good person compared to the rest of you. After all, I'm selfishly holing myself in here without letting anyone in.
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[Minato admits that softly, bowing his head.]
But even so... I'll fight with everything I have to make that true.
Because... you aren't doing anything wrong, Inaba-san. No matter what you think--no matter what you're telling yourself, you haven't done anything wrong.
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Even after I was one of the people who chose that vote that made Medic get executed like that?
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[Minato murmurs that solemnly, gaze dropping.]
... That's...how this game is played, isn't it?
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[ She voice is tense, because she's very much aware of it. She is, really. But it still sucks a lot. ]
But even so, I feel terrible, since he helped me on the Thursday before... And it kind of feels like a backstab, you know?
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[It's such a hard situation--how could he ever blame her for that?
But...]
But you aren't any worse than any of us here, Inaba-san.
We all voted... not just you. Some of us probably even voted for people we like, all because we had no other choice. I'm not saying it was right... just that you're not alone in this.
And you don't deserve to die because of it.
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. . . maybe.
Even if you say that, it just-- [ her hand's on the knob, tightening against it a little ] I really, honestly feel alone. Like, even if there's people around me, I'm still pushing you all away. Like right now. I talked to someone about it, and I know that I probably have to be the one to change in the end, but people tell me that I'm okay the way I am. Yet... I'm jealous of how easy it is for others to bond, to have fun, to have sleepovers before someone's about to get murdered? Like how can you guys do that while I just can't.
It's just impossible for me.
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[Minato's quiet for a long moment...and then he sighs.]
For a really long time... I also just pushed people away. Nobody...ever really stayed, you know? So instead of being hurt, it seemed easier to just keep people at a distance.
...Some people showed me that it was okay to change...and that they would be there for me every step of the way while I did, to catch me if I fell in any way.
[...]
I want to be that for you, too, Inaba-san. If... you'll allow me to be. I want...to stay by your side, and help you if you fall.
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You really shouldn't say it like that, Arisato. If this were any other context, it might actually sound like a love confession.
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Hm.
Uh.]
... I... didn't exactly mean it like that. Can it be a friend confession...?
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[ She says it so flippantly with a rather dismissive hand gesture. ]
I'd never expect to hear any love confessions anyway. [ Inaba's smiling, but it's bitter. ] Anyway, let's just say it's not a confession of any sort and leave it at that. Unless you're really into 'confessions', Arisato? Hm? Have you made this sort of confession to anybody else lately?
[ OH NO ]
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[INABA??? He's alarmed by the quick change in subject.]
The situation kind of makes that sort of thing hard, you know...?
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[ ... ]
I'm half joking, of course.
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Only half...?
[ANYWAY...]
... Regardless... no matter what, Inaba-san, you don't deserve to die, okay? Hold onto that fear... because that means you still want to live.
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[ SUPER NONCHALANT ]
But... I will remember that. Thanks.
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I'll leave you alone now--but thanks for listening to me too, Inaba-san.