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[messianic]

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[dereban]

[ She definitely eyes the with quite a bit of interest, but she doesn't say anything about it too much. ]

Sick. A mess. Like I want to scream, but I know that I shouldn't.

[messianic]

... Why not? There's nothing stopping you from screaming, if you need to. You don't always have to hold it together, you know.

[Quietly:]

Tomorrow, during the trial, we'll all have to.

But right now... right now, there's nothing wrong with feeling the things you have to feel.

[dereban]

I have to keep myself together. It's the only way to prevent myself from falling apart entirely. I can't fall apart. I can't. If I do, I can't be useful to anybody anymore... and I have to be.

I don't mind shouting if it's necessary, but I can't do it because-- [ waves hands ] just because I'm upset? And angry?

[messianic]

... Why not?

[That seems like good enough reasons to yell to him, honestly.]

[dereban]

I'd rather save my breath for when it really matters. And... I can't show weakness.

[messianic]

[That's....]

Mm... okay, that's fair. I think I understand.

[He won't argue it.]

Then for now... don't yell. But if there ever comes a time that you want to... [He offers up a quirked smile, rueful and wry and small.] ...I have some pillows you can yell into.

[dereban]

...

[ She smiles, just a crack of a small, wistful smile. ] Thanks. I... really appreciate it, Arisato. Really.

[messianic]

... I appreciate it too, you know. Being able to help, even just a little...

That helps me too.

[dereban]

How exactly does it help you? Is it because you like doing that sort of thing...?

[messianic]

... I think it's pretty easy to feel kind of helpless in a place like this, you know?

So... I guess I'm glad if I can help anyone...even if it's only in small ways.